Saturday, October 10, 2009

THE BRITAIN WE LIVE IN....

A pub landlord, says the Dorset Echo, has turned the tables on council chiefs who removed one of his signs. He’s taken some of theirs in return. Neil “Chaz” Charlton, landlord of the Clifton hotel, was told by Weymouth and Portland borough council that it had removed his advertising A-board. “They told me they had taken it, so I said fine and I went out the back of their yard and piled their signs into my car. They said they’ll do me for theft so I said I’ll do them for theft.” A sign of the times!

BBC Scotland Online reports that diehard football fan Frazer Boyle, 20, has shocked his family by changing his name to Motherwell Football Club. Frazer’s mother, Hazel, said: “I was ready to give him a clip around the ear, but he has already been to France and Wales in the past year to watch Motherwell. I think that is punishment enough.” Thank God he doesn’t follow Queen of the South!

The Shropshire Star tells us that teacher Nick Hanna was left dumbfounded when a deli counter assistant told him she couldn’t open a brown sauce sachet for him — in case some of the sachet got in his sandwich. The assistant said if a piece of the sachet went onto the sandwich and he ate it, the store would be liable. What a sauce!

AND A TASTE OF WHAT WE ARE MISSING!

The New Hampshire Union Leader – that a newspaper not a Teamster’s boss – reports that four years ago, Gary Moody was found wearing waders, hip-deep in the waste pit of a ladies outhouse in New Hampshire's White Mountain National Forest. Moody said he was searching for his wife's lost wedding ring, but investigators didn’t believe him and so filed charges. A federal judge spared him jail, ordering him to get psychiatric treatment instead. Recently a camper in Maine, a few miles from the New Hampshire border, said that she went into a pit-toilet restroom and “a man popped up out of the hole leading to the waste vault,” according to court papers. “The man [said], ‘Sorry about that, I was getting my shirt.’” Sure enough, it was Moody, now 47, who faces three new federal charges. Moody admits he never got the ordered psychiatric treatment and has waded in outhouses “on more than the two occasions when he happened to get caught,” an investigator says, but “expressed anger toward society because of how he was treated after he was found in the pit of a national forest outhouse in 2005,” causing him to suffer “extreme embarrassment.” Which just goes to prove life can be shit!

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