The Daily Echo in Bournmouth tells the tale of a mother shopping with her 14-year-old son who was told she couldn’t give him a bag to carry because it contained a bottle of wine. Gill Power-Forward handed the heavier of the two bags to her son, Andrew, to take to the car at Asda in Canford Heath. But the cashier insisted she carry the bag herself because it contained a bottle of wine — and her son might drink it. “The world’s gone mad,” said Gill. An apologetic Asda spokesman said: “We hope this hasn’t put Mrs Power-Forward off shopping at Asda.” I suspect the cashier was drunk – on power!
Also perhaps drunk on his own brew is a witch who the Cambridge News reports plans to open an occult centre in city. He says he has conjured up a demon in the city’s Catholic church. Magus Lynius Shadee, who calls himself the “king of all witches”, says he let loose the entity to prey on worshippers at the Church of Our Lady and the English Martyrs. Fr Dick Healey said: “He’s obviously a bit twisted.” Not sure that’s very Christian!
Finally to the Southern Daily Echo that tells us a study has revealed that Southampton women have the smallest breasts in the country. Debenhams studied bra sales between April and October. The average Southampton woman has a 34B cup size. Liverpudlians topped the poll with 34E. Glad to get that off our chest!
AND A TASTE OF WHAT WE ARE MISSING!
The Kalamazoo Gazette says Lisa Snyder lives near a school bus stop in Middleville, Michigan. A couple of neighbors need to head for work before the bus arrives, so Snyder said she would be happy to keep an eye on their kids until the bus arrives. But when the Michigan Department of Human Services heard about it, they ordered her to stop: watching someone else's kids makes her home an "unlicensed daycare facility" in the state's eyes. To comply with its rules, she must apply for a license to watch the kids even though she doesn't charge anything. "It's crazy," Snyder said. "I'm just helping out a couple of friends." She asked State Rep. Brian Calley for help, but when he called DHS they told him to bug off. He has promised legislation to deal with the problem. The USA today the UK tomorrow - or maybe for once we've beaten them to it!
