The Cumberland News reports that a window cleaner from Penrith has painted his house pink with yellow spots and plans to give the larger spots smiley faces. Vince Holden, 47, said: “I didn’t want it to look like Mr Blobby, I just wanted to put a smile on folk’s faces. It’s very artistic, you can’t knock it for that. I got the idea from a house in Barrow with a chimney stack painted like a Liquorice Allsort.” Obviously art has a different meaning in Penrith and Barrow!
An outraged Western Morning News tells its readers that a Second World War hero has been banned from selling Remembrance Day poppies after raising £140,000 over 50 years - because he needs insurance. D-Day veteran Harry Billinge, 84, has been told the British Legion would not be able to afford the cost of insurance once he turns 85. “The world has gone mad,” said Harry. “We never had insurance fighting on those beaches.” A land fit for heroes – as long as you’re insured!
Over at the Western Mail they inform us there are 1,200 people who still buy only a black-and-white TV licence in Wales, and the largest number are in Cardiff. Grandmother Jean Perry still watches her 30-year-old Hitachi set. “My family has tried to get me to get rid of it, but it serves a purpose. It doesn’t take up as much room as a colour television.” And everyone knows the old black and white shows were better!
... A BIT OF THE BLARNEY...
Despite the grim reports of rising unemployment and growing debt people in Ireland are still looking for ways to lift the gloom. Reuters reports that statistics show that while in the midst of a recession the country was also in the grip of a baby boom with a record 75,065 births registered in 2008. They might be jobless but it’s good to see Irish men are still putting their backs into it!
...AND A TASTE OF WHAT WE ARE MISSING!
Last week we reported on the celebrity squirrel in Dorking, Surrey, that’s had a Facebook tribute set up along with a shrine in his or her honour. This week comes news on unpatriotic squirrels causing uproar in New Hampshire in the USA. According to the Portsmouth Herald flags have started going missing from graves at a cemetery in Hampton. Locals, especially veterans’ groups, expressed their outrage at the desecration. But people need to chill, a cemetery official said. “Several years back we had the same situation,” said Cemetery Trustee Richard Bateman. The conclusion: “it was the squirrels.” The rodents were snatching the flags to line their nests, he said, and that’s probably what’s going on now, too. “I don't think it’s squirrels," said the dubious Commander of the local American Legion Post, Ralph Fatello. “But, if it’s squirrels, we are going to prosecute them and I’m going to make an example out of them.” And, Fatello added, they need to be more patriotic. “I don't know how I’m going to teach a history lesson to squirrels, but I would be willing to sit them down and try to talk to them.” If I was one of those squirrels I’d start counting my nuts – starting with Ralph.
